Today I got into a discussion with a couple of co-workers about lessons learned in dating, and it quickly turned into story-telling time (and confession!). After all, experience is sometimes the best teacher.
Oh it’s so easy to look back now and say “what was I thinking?” But it’s a different story when you’re on the actual date. Wouldn’t it have been great to have a friend tell you back then that what you’re doing is against the rules of dating? OK, so you probably wouldn’t have listened (I know I wouldn’t). I’m happily married now, but I didn’t get there without breaking a few of the rules and learning some hard, seemingly obvious lessons.
So in the spirit of sharing, here are the rules we came up with today. These are just suggestions and like most things do not apply to all situations.
And no, these rules are not all from my own experience.
Suggested Rules of Dating
- Never give out your personal information (home address, work place, etc) unless you enjoy unexpected visitors.
- Pass on dinner for the first date and go with something simple like a cup of coffee. You don’t want to commit yourself to a few hours with someone until you know you can stand a few hours with them.
- Ladies, guys don’t talk about weddings for fun. If he brings up a wedding, and you have no interest in marrying him, it’s time to move on.
- Ladies, it’s cool you have a platonic single guy friend. But guess what – guys don’t buy that (unless the friend is super, never-gonna-be-interested-in-women gay). Be prepared for jealousy. But it’s fair. After all, would you want your guy hanging out with any single girl whatsoever? Be honest now.
- Guys, if a girl suggests an expensive restaurant on the first date, watch out. She’s either looking for a free meal or she’s just high maintenance.
- Don’t meet people on My Space.
- Don’t get someone’s phone number while you’re on a date with another person.
- Don’t date people from work. Breakups are awkward. Or if it goes well, you’ll find that you can’t separate life from work. I guess if you hate your job and you’re looking to move on anyway, then date away!
- Be cautious about dating people at church. Again, breakups can get awkward. And church shopping is no fun.
- Use discretion when evaluating emails from online dating sites. If the person writes, “your purty. lets hook up,” then you probably need to pass.
- If the person is not over the ex then don’t get involved. So how do you know if the person is still hung up on the ex? Tell-tale signs include:
- The ex calls the person to say they miss them, and then the person tells you the ex called.
- The person talks incessantly about their ex.
- The person tells you they are not over their ex.
- You find pictures or small photo albums of the ex in the person’s car, house, etc.
- Do not date people who are “not fully divorced yet.” Uh, yeah, that means they’re still married. “Separated” doesn’t count. Those peeps are married too! You don’t want the rage of a jealous spouse ruining your day. Can you say the Tyra show?
Feel free to add more suggestions in the comments. I know there are tons of lessons to be learned. Maybe my next post should be about dates from Hell. Those are always fun to talk about once you’ve survived!