We’ve Lost Our Baby Brother

We have some very sad news to share today. We can only hope this somehow helps someone else in a similar situation one day.

Raymond Charles Peters
November 6th, 2013

I’d always heard that parents live vicariously through their children. After being a parent for 3 years now, I can attest to that fact. One part of it I’m only just beginning to understand is the idea that there are things in life I’ll likely never accomplish. Something about seeing a young child grow into the world makes you realize that they really can be anything. For all I know, William will be a world champion break dancer, musical genius, or loving father to his own little boy. No matter what he chooses to be, I will live vicariously through him. Which is why it pains me to no end to know that at least for now, he won’t be a big brother – at least not to our child who died in utero this week.

There are so many things about this experience that I never want to forget. Sights and sounds that I will always cherish. Details I already fear I am forgetting. I hope that Rachel and I take the time to document these precious memories as best as we can, although I know we will never forget the pain, sorrow, sadness, disappointment, fear, shock, and love experienced in just the last few days. One of the books we got from the hospital has so many great quotes on loss. There are so many that I’ll likely cherish forever.

“Imagine a love so strong that saying hello and goodbye in the same day was worth the sorrow.” – Author Unknown

I want to keep a list of things to remember, just in case I can’t tomorrow. This list is to ensure that I never ever ever forget the precious moments we shared. The sadness of these events is so intertwined within them that they are hard to bear, yet I hope to never forget them just the same.

  • Having family portraits with you in your mother’s womb and your big brother William hamming it up – photos I’ll always cherish
  • Feeling you kick just minutes before you passed
  • Seeing your heart flutter for its last time (so much pain, so precious and amazing a sight)
  • Having hand and feet prints made to always have them to look at and cherish
  • Holding you in our arms so that we can always remember meeting you and seeing you – you were such a beautiful baby
  • Naming you and imagining the type of man you might have grown to be

It wasn’t until Raymond passed that I realized how incredibly attached I was to the little guy already. I think more than anything it was more yearning to live vicariously through our son William, to have a little brother to watch over and raise. To pal around with and get in fights with. To have a little buddy he could always count on and watch over. We lost our baby this week, but we also lost our little baby brother.

We will be having a small family service this weekend. I know so many of our family, friends, church family, choir family, nursery friends, coworkers, etc. want to be here for us. All we can say is thank you for your thoughts and prayers. If you’re looking for a way to help, please consider donating to an organization that helps children who, unlike our son, don’t have enough love in their lives. Consider adopting a child in another country or giving a one time donation to Compassion International, donating to the Atlanta Children’s Shelter, supporting Operation Smile, giving to your local church’s children’s ministries, or finding another way you can give to those children out there who need so much more than us.

Our little brother was due within 2 days of William’s birthday. Before this tragedy we had planned a small birthday party for William in mid-December. Now that this has changed everything, we plan on throwing a big birthday party for William on/near his birthday in January. We hope to celebrate William’s birthday (and celebrate Raymond’s in spirit) that day. We also plan to attend the Walk to Remember in October – we would love to attend this with friends as well.

Thanks so much for your thoughts and prayers during this difficult time.

18 thoughts on “We’ve Lost Our Baby Brother

  1. You are both two of the best people I’ve ever met. I’m so sorry for you loss and as usual impressed with your resilience and strength. I feel fortunate to know you both (and William) and please know that you are in my and my family’s prayers.

  2. You are all in our thoughts and prayers. Such beautiful words with such powerful meaning! Blessings!


  3. I am so sorry for your loss. Rachel and I were best friends growing up, we have many wonderful memories and I consider her family. You are all in my thoughts and prayers. Please pass my love on to Rachel.

  4. Roger, Ratcchel, William, sorry for your lost. God knows and has a reason why He wanted your Baby-Brother with Him, but your Baby is now an angel very close to God taking care of All of you. Thank you for your sharing of this painful moment, it was so profound learning and gives to all who read it truly Hope and Strengh. Yuo are in my prayers.

  5. Rachel and Roger, I am so very sorry. Like Luisa says, baby Raymond is the angel that will always illuminate you both and William.

    These words are so touching, you made me cry. Your are united for the love and sorrow of losing baby Raymond.

    Much love and prayers.

  6. Rachel and Roger,
    I am so sorry to hear of your loss. Many hugs and prayers to you both. <3

  7. There is nothing as precious as your children in this life. Raymond will always be in our hearts as our little angel from above.

  8. Roger, Rachel, and William,

    How difficult this time in your life must be for you, and may be for years to come. I don’t know you personally– my fiance Shawn works with Roger– but reading this passage I feel such great compassion for you in this situation. I hope your days ahead bring peace and grace and joy. I can only imagine how dark things seem right now, but light is on its way to your hearts.


  9. We are incredibly sorry… In times like this it is hard to know what to say but know that we are thinking of you guys.

  10. I am so sorry for your loss.. Your story is very inspiring. It tells of love, hope and charity and I feel everyone who reads your heartfelt story will be a better person for it.. God bless you.

  11. Roger, Rachel and William
    My heart is so heavy. I pray that God will wrap you in a blanket of strength, love, courage, and peace as you travel this journey. You and your whole family are in our prayers.
    Rachel you will always be one of my girls.
    Love y’all.

  12. Praying for your family, Roger , Rachel and William , may the God of all creation wrap his loving arms around you and hold you in His care.

  13. This is so beautiful. You guys have been in my thoughts and prayers since the moment I heard the news. I am so sorry for your loss, but thankful that you are able to have these memories. I know there is nothing I can do to take the sadness away, but if there is anything at all I can do to help out, please call me. Love you all so much. ~R

  14. I had the same experience seven years and eight months ago. I was allowed to have my son Jonas for 35 weeks under my heart.
    I feel with you guys!

  15. I am so sorry to hear about this horrible loss. Raymond is a very loved child and I know that you will hold him in your hearts forever. William, Rachel and Roger, I know you’ll grow even closer as you share in your memories of your love for Raymond. What a wonderful tribute.

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