Houston we have a belly.

According to What To Expect, William is the size of an eggplant and my uterus is the size of a soccer ball. So I’ve been doing some shopping lately…

Open Letters to My Favorite Clothing Stores

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Dear Gap,

I should have started my maternity work wear search with you. I’m sorry for doubting you for even a minute. Your black pants, though pricy, are the best thing I’ve bought for tackling meetings without feeling like my clothes shout, “Hey I’m pregnant!” Your casual clothes are cute too, and thank goodness for your sale rack. Because of you, I’ll look great at my friend’s wedding and I only spent $17 on the dress. Love, Rachel

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Dear Old Navy,

You disappoint me.  Your prices are just right, and I love your casual clothes, but you are severely lacking on the work wear unless I want to shop online. Attention – women are pregnant only a few times in our lives and we have no idea what size our bellies will be. We need to try stuff on. Period. Please carry more stuff in your physical stores. Love, Rachel

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Dear Target,

You are not one of my go-to places for clothes, but you have pleasantly surprised me. Your selection of non-dumpy maternity wear is outstanding! I should have bought stock in your company before making my purchase, because I think I spent enough to now own the West Cobb store. Love, Rachel

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Dear Ann Taylor,

I find it wildly exciting that you carry maternity wear, but my fear that your pregger pants will cost $100 prevents me from gracing your doors. I’ll visit again once I’m back to my normal size. See you in 2011. Love, Rachel

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Dear Banana Republic,

[crickets...] Hello? I need you please. Love, Rachel

Since I’ve started working at Home Depot, I’ve been bringing my lunch more often. It’s easier than trying to get out of the building - ride the elevator 14 floors, walk to the parking garage, climb two flights of stairs, wait in a line of cars to exit the garage (and repeat) – and it’s a lot healthier and cheaper. It’s also a great way to keep a stash of snacks handy for my new pregger diet.

Pre pregnancy, I ate like normal people – 3 meals a day and maybe a snack after dinner. OK, usually a snack after dinner. Now I eat more like 6 times a day! At first, it was to keep nausea at bay. Hunger is your worst enemy when you’re feeling sick already. Now I eat more often because I’m hungry more often. If I eat 6 meals though, I’ll have the pregnant look long after William is born!

So instead, I eat mini meals all day long. And that means coming up with good snacks and rediscovering some old favorites. I’ve heard that you’ll gravitate towards foods the baby likes, and so far William likes comfort foods from my childhood days – spaghetti Os, Snack Packs, and white cheddar Cheez-Its (so good they’re possibly God’s choice in crackers). But like a good mama, I also work in fruits, veggies, and whole wheat when I can. Honey Nut Cheerios is a great way to get some calcium and wheat (ooh pregger tip!).

And that’s another new thing. My pre-pregnancy 90 calorie breakfast bar no longer cuts it. If I eat one at home, I’m starving by the time I get to work 30 minutes later. So now I eat an actual bowl of cereal every morning. I haven’t done that since high school! I stick to Cheerios mostly, but Fruity Pebbles makes an occasional appearance too.

The number one thing I stick to? Water.

And more water.

With a side of water.

What’s the quickest way to pass out? Just don’t drink enough water. And I hate drinking water. I’m just not naturally thirsty all the time. I rarely drank anything before. Now I force myself to drink at least 64 ounces a day. It’s a small price to pay to ensure I don’t faint. Nothing like fainting to make a girl feel . . . well, wimpy.

But with all the new food requirements comes a few aversions too. Don’t come near me with watermelon or salad. These foods are the enemy. My stomach smells them or sees them and promptly attacks me. I’m getting better about salad actually, but watermelon is still on the black list.

I wonder if William will like watermelon. For now, I’ll blame him for the aversion.